GO TO......

HELL! I reallllly fucking wish you werde not in my life right now, you drive me insane. Your a peice of shit and I would send you to hell myself if I could. All you that will be like "Oh you don't mean it, your just mad" well fuck you. I mean every single word and I will NOT take any of it back. I put my dad out of my life, but he is still around, in my head. He haunts me there all the time, and I can never make him go away. He says he doesn't know what he did wrong. BULLSHIT that fucker knows exactly what he did and he isnt going to suck me into his pathetic pity party like he did my sister and most likley my brother. My dad is good with manipulation, which in other words, brainwash. fuck him. My sister says that im blowoing stuff out of context, well fuck her, because she didn't fucking go threw what i went threw! she wasn't living in her own personal hell forfucking 12 years! stuck in a black hole with no way out, the most alone in a crowded room. I dont know what im suppose to do. But if it has to be cutting my family from my life then fine, because im done with bullshit. Im not taking it from anyone, and im not taking it from them.

ONTOP of that my pills are running low and im having freak out sessions. I was feeling impulsive and distructive earlier, but I took a walk instead. im on the verge of exploding, but im trying to keep it under control because ill either hurt myself or someone else, and I dont want to do either.